'Wear Nice Clothes' is the ultimate in procrastination for our writers who prefer to write satirical fashion commentary than actually do the work for their degrees. We love vintage shops, charity shops, clothes that last forever and customisation.

Monday, 14 December 2009

Fashion Etiquette.

How to avoid embarrassing yourself and offending others.

The Tale of the 'Groovy' Gift. 

There’s a room full of beady eyes glaring at you as you slowly undo the red ribbon obstructing the face of a sadistically happy Father Christmas.

“Ooh do you like it?” your Gran pipes up from her armchair.

Of course you don’t. You would rather run to the hills naked whilst playing the flute than wear this Tammy Girl ‘Groovy Chick’ top.  

Geez Gran, you’re twenty years of age.

Unfortunately, because at the tender, naïve age of fourteen you wandered around with a t-shirt declaring ‘99% Devil’ (1% Angel on the back. Obvs) each year you get an equally delightful variation on a classic.

You can’t sulk, scream or stamp your feet. You’re a ‘Groovy Chick’ and ‘Groovy Chick’s’ don’t embark in that sort of camaraderie.

Decisions, decisions … what to do? Your best bet is to smile like the Cheshire Cat, whack in a few enthusiastic ‘ooh’s and aah’s’ and pass it round for everyone to look at. Share the wealth it’s Christmas.

Proceed to give Gran a big kiss on the cheek, throw in a ‘you shouldn’t have’ for good ironic measure and keep schtum.

Have your photo taken in it with Gran on Christmas Day for the sweet memories and whack it on eBay on Boxing Day.

Gran’s feelings are protected, your purse is a bit heavier and there is a very happy fourteen year old somewhere.


Written by Sarah Barns.

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