'Wear Nice Clothes' is the ultimate in procrastination for our writers who prefer to write satirical fashion commentary than actually do the work for their degrees. We love vintage shops, charity shops, clothes that last forever and customisation.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Please Stop Wearing Bear Face Hats.

When guilty pleasures go wrong.


Panda Face Hat, River Island. 

With the recent snowfall and arctic temperatures I have enjoyed keeping my ‘money-maker’ warm with a nice woolly hat as I only get thrills from self-induced brain-freeze when it is courtesy of a Slush Puppy . 

This year, however, many innocent bystanders have been horrified by the sight of a new trend on the hat scene, one that is so sickly sweet it makes your eyes water (and then freeze over in these conditions). On babies they are acceptable, on young children they are tolerable, but unfortunately, there is no excuse for anybody above the age of five to be wearing them: hats with bear faces stitched onto them and woollen ears stuck on the top - it’s the stuff of nightmares! 
This cutesy facade is dangerous. If you are going to have a bear's face on your head, why stop at the bear hat? Why not go the whole hog and let out your inner grizzly bear in an all-in-one costume?  The temptation to become overly cute is too great.

I think a hat should be all about warmth and so if these creations do actually fit the bill and keep your head toasty then by all means go ahead and wear them.  Although I think many will agree that a trusted woolly beret or beanie is the way forward, especially if you live in the countryside and want to go for walks without being shot by farmers protecting their land from rogue animals.

Woolly Beret, handknitted by Lizzie's mum.

I tend to go for a plain navy or grey woollen beanies as these basic colours will go with practically everything. But if eccentricity is what you’re after I say pom-poms all the way!  With a slight ski-theme these make you look acceptably quirky; something that the bear hat doesn’t quite allow you to pull off.  Alternatively, if hats aren’t quite your style, earmuffs or woollen “headwarmers” are always a way to keep your Britney Spears’ warm. 

Wool Pom-Pom Beanie,  Topshop

Furry Cossack?!? Hat, H&M Men.

Furry Pillbox Hat, Vintage.

Same hat, a treat for the ladies.

Written by Sophie Harrison.
Pictures of Lizzie Lewis and Perry Higgins.


  1. That Perry lad looks a right doyle

  2. this is hilarious

  3. i personaly think people should were what they want its not upto some daft person on the internet with nothin else to do tell people what to wear. Bear hats are actualy nice for winter for any age, where as some of the other hats you have posted i wouldnt put them near my head but i wouldt go about telling people not to wear them because there only acceptible for babies!

  4. I have the RI panda hat. Its fun and I get a lot of positive comments when I wear it. The hats you wear in your pics look absolutely horrible. Especially that pompom thing.